ScrumpyDaddy

Every year there is, of course, a favorite part of the weekend. Usually it is going to Linda and Andy’s for their special meal after Thanksgiving Day. I love Andy’s cooking. This year it was still the same, though different. Usually all the family goes to Linda and Andy’s. This year the meal at Linda and Andy’s was very small and intimate. Since Becky had gotten sick no one really wanted to be around us. They didn’t want to take the chance of their kids getting sick, like Becky, since we didn’t know exactly what she had (turned out she had just a 48 hour bug of some kind). The family is being very cautious this year with the loss of Maddie. Since we only go to NJ once a year for Thanksgiving, so we got the priority to go to Linda and Andy’s.

We went there on Saturday afternoon for a late lunch, early dinner. It was only Dave, Abby, Zach and I along with my one cousin Janet and my Aunt Carole and Uncle Dave. It was a wonderful time. We got to talk with Linda and Andy and hear wonderful stories of Maddie and her year with us. I had only seen Maddie one time, which was last Thanksgiving, since like I said before we only see that side of the family once a year. I hadn’t really gotten to know Maddie, but was able to get to know her a little better through their stories. We talked about how she could say hi, mommy, and had just started to say daddy. We saw wonderful pictures of Maddie all around the house. We even took the time to go to her room and see some of the posters from the funeral. I lost it when we went into her room and couldn’t hold back the tears. No one should ever outlive their children.

We continue to lift up Linda and Andy and pray for strength and comfort.

It has now become a tradition since we started going to my Uncle’s for Thanksgiving that either Friday or Saturday morning we head over to a local nursery to look at their Christmas display. It is a wonderful place called Willow Run. They have live animals that you can feed, a Christmas display of various Christmas scenes, and of course Christmas trees all wonderfully decorated. Each year we pick out several things to buy from Willow Run. Mainly window clings of some sort. This year we did end up getting couple other things. We let Abby pick out LED lights for a small tree we had for her bedroom. She also picked out a small gold star for the top of her tree. She was so excited to get to pick these out. We also got a Christmas door mat and some window clings. We are trying the gel ones this year. We will see how they go.

Abby, of course, loved the animals the best and probably could have stayed there all day feeding them. At Willow run the animals are all behind a double fence so you can’t touch them. They have tubes you put the food down that goes into a trough for the animals to eat. Abby liked putting the corn kernels down the tube one kernel at a time. It was a miracle the animals could find the kernels and eat them. Though I have to say it did save me quarters, since she wasn’t putting whole handfuls down the tubes and then asking for more over and over again. Way to have self control kid!

I know it has been almost 2 weeks since Thanksgiving, but I still wanted to post about our Thanksgiving time. Sometimes it seems so hard to get on the computer and post things. I have intentions of doing it every night and every night something comes up or the day has just warn me out. I am home today from work with Zach so I figured now would be a great time to catch up.

Anyways…Thanksgiving. This year was a very emotional Thanksgiving for my family. We recently suffered the tragic loss of my cousin’s 1 year old daughter. Holidays always seem to be the worst and this was the first holiday with out our dear Maddie. There were several times during the weekend that I teared up or saw a family member tear up. They say time heals all wounds. I say God heals all wounds and I pray for my cousin that God would do that.

Other than being emotional we had a great time, though my sister and mom probably couldn’t say the same (we will get to that).

We arrived at my cousin Steve and Lois’ house on Wednesday after a very, very, very long car ride. It took us around 10 hours to get from Pittsburgh to New Milford, NJ. It is very hard to travel with 2 children, especially when we have one potty trained and one nursing. It seemed like whenever we stopped it was for either one child or the other. They just couldn’t coincide and do things together. Abby never had to potty when Zach was ready to nurse and visa versa. Let me just say we made way to many stops on the way there. It was nice to finally get there and just relax. Overall the kids did great!

Our Thursday (Thanksgiving Day) tradition starts off with breakfast at a local diner with several of my other cousins and their families, my aunt Carole, uncle Dave, my sister, and my parents. Then several of us go back over to Steve and Lois’ while Lois gets the sweet potatoes ready. This year my one cousin brought their dog, Timber, to Thanksgiving. Abby loved Timber. They played outside together at my cousin’s house. Abby loved chasing Timber around and just laughing with the dog. It made me very nervous that Abby would then come over and ask for a dog for Christmas. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs. I grew up with a black lab named Annie. She was the best dog in the world. I just don’t want the responsibility of a dog. They take so much more work than a cat. Right now I am definitely a cat person. Anyways…she didn’t ask for a dog, so we are safe.

I am sure Dave will hate me for telling this story, but it must be told. Abby and Timber had an up close encounter while playing. Dave was throwing Timber his toy, which was a stuffed animal of some sort, and Timber would run and get it and bring it back to Dave. One time Dave threw it and didn’t notice Abby was practically right behind Timber. Timber turned and started to run to get his toy and collided with Abby. Both Abby and the dog were knocked backwards. I was standing on the deck when it happened and you could hear the two of them hit each other, that is how hard it was. Abby of course cried and wanted an icy. Lois gave her a Winnie the Pooh icy and Abby was better in now time and no worse for the wear. She went right back outside and started playing with Timber again. I think Dave felt worse about the whole thing than Abby did. Sorry Dave!

We then headed over to my Aunt and Uncle’s house for the actual Thanksgiving meal. We had, I believe, 41 people there for Thanksgiving dinner. I don’t know how we do it every year, but we all fit in my Uncle’s house for the meal. Again this year we took a couch out and put it on the front lawn. I wonder what my Uncle’s neighbors think when we do this. We did it last year too to try and fit everyone in the living room. The meal was amazing as always. We always have an appetizer. In the past it has been various soups my cousins Linda and Andy have made. This year it was a piece of fresh mozzarella with 2 slices of tomato and some kind of dressing. Abby really liked the cheese. She is such a cheese ball. The main meal consisted of 2 turkeys, 2 kinds of stuffing (one made by us, which is my favorite), sweet potatoes, corn, mashed potatoes, salad, rolls, macaroni and cheese (for the kids), green bean casserole, cranberry sauce, and I can’t remember what else. It was all so delicious! It’s always hard to leave room for desert, but that is later so it gives us time to digest and make room. After the meal we clean up the table and just all sit around the living room talking and just being with each other. I love family time.

Around 5:30pm we headed over to Steve and Lois’ for desert and the traditional signing of the Christmas carols. This was when Thanksgiving started to take a turn for the worse for my poor sister. We got to Steve and Lois’ and she went right into the guest room to crawl into bed and sleep. On the way in the car she began to feel chilled and sick. Oh, Becky! At least she got to enjoy the meal. We then found out later that night after everyone had left that Becky was sick and had gotten sick. We then had to quarantine her to the guest room to prevent her from getting anyone else sick. She was stuck in that room all day Friday and most of Saturday. Hopefully next year she won’t be sick and can be apart of the traditions.

Desert time at Steve and Lois’ is always an adventure. They have a playroom downstairs (which is where we stay) that all the kids just destroy. There are 22 kids ranging from 3 months old to 18 years old at Thanksgiving. Having that many kids in one space is always an adventure. I think Abby was a little overwhelmed, but kind of just did her own thing. Our family missed most of the caroling time this year because it was time for Zach to nurse. We went up stairs where it was a little quieter for Zach. Abby of course wanted to come with us, which was fine. She read some of Josiah’s books and just had some much needed down time.

Overall the day was emotional, wonderful, chaotic, joyous, and just plain fun. I can’t wait until next year!

These past couple weeks have been very hard on my family, especially for my cousin Linda and her husband Andy. Their only child, Maddie, who had just turned 1, passed away on Nov. 10th due to complications from the swine flu. She had just celebrated her first birthday on Tuesday the 3rd and was supposed to have her birthday party on Saturday the 7th. She went into the the NICU that Saturday morning and passed away on Tuesday the 10th. You hear in the news all the people getting sick from the swine flu and that there have been deaths, but you never expect it to happen to your family and to someone so young. It has been so heartbreaking!

I grew up spending the holidays with my mom’s family and getting to know all my cousins (my one uncle has 7 children). I was the youngest of the cousins and therefore spoiled rotten. I looked forward each holiday, usually Thanksgiving and Easter, to seeing them and getting to spend time with them. When you have your own children, you expect they will have the same experience. You expect them to grow up with their cousins of similar age, playing with them and growing in maturity. Abby and Zach will be able to get to know all their other cousins, but will now miss out on getting to know Maddie. Abby just turned 3 this year and Zach is 4 months old; they will have no real memory of Maddie, except for pictures we show them and stories we pass on.

I unfortunately only saw Maddie for one weekend last year at Thanksgiving (2008). I live in Pittsburgh, PA, and my cousin’s family lives in New Jersey. We always go to NJ for Thanksgiving to celebrate it with my mom’s side of the family. Usually on Friday or Saturday, we would travel to Linda & Andy’s house for a wonderful meal Andy would cook. He is a wonderful cook! Maddie was only about 3 weeks old when I saw her. She was so small and so beautiful, with a full head of hair. I was able to hold her and help burp her. I showed Linda the trick on how to burp her on your knee, which always worked the best for my daughter instead of over the shoulder. I was very much looking forward to seeing her again this year to see how much she had grown.

She was a strong little girl who had already been through so much in her little life. Some of you may have read my husband’s post “A Tale of Two Maddies” and know that back in February she had gone into the NICU with botulism. She pulled through that despite her rare metabolic disorder and continued to thrive and grow. Maddie was born with what is known as HMG-CoA lyase deficiency.

HMG-CoA lyase deficiency is a rare condition; it has been reported in fewer than 100 individuals worldwide. 3-hydroxy-3-methylglutaryl-coenzyme A lyase deficiency (also known as HMG-CoA lyase deficiency) is an uncommon inherited disorder in which the body cannot process a particular protein building block (amino acid) called leucine. Additionally, the disorder prevents the body from making ketones, which are used for energy during periods without food (fasting).

I want to pass on her story and her life and maybe help some other children with metabolic disorders. Maddie’s family is asking anyone interested to please donate to the Organic Acidemia Association Corporation (http://www.oaanews.org).

The Organic Acidemia Association is a volunteer non-profit organization whose mission is to empower families and health care professionals with knowledge in organic acidemia metabolic disorders. We support early intervention through expanded newborn screening, solicit contributions and distribute funding that supports research toward improved treatment and eventual cures in the areas of Organic Acid disorders.

Please consider giving to this cause. I don’t think words can say anymore. Please watch the tribute Andy’s sister made, which is set to Mark Harris’ “Find Your Wings.”